Finding belay partners (or somehow, a climber boyfriend)

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zurriola

Sport climber
Aliso Viejo, CA
Topic Author's Original Post - Jul 2, 2016 - 05:41pm PT
I am (unfortunately) located in a suburban/city area in CA that seems to be full of gym rats (no offense!) and climbers afraid of a little heat (Joshua Tree this time of year). Anyway, I really love climbing outdoors and really don't love indoor bouldering. I've met some nice people at the gyms, but haven't seemed to find any belay partners with my same mindset. I would enjoy meeting someone with my same passion for outdoor sport climbing and road tripping (I am happy to drive to Yosemite as long as the Enormocast is on). The problem is even just getting out to the crags and finding someone willing to make the drive. Do I just show up to the climbing spots as a solo girl with not enough gear and risk looking like a freeloader? Or keep taking my chances at the gym?
Srbphoto

climber
Kennewick wa
Jul 2, 2016 - 06:41pm PT
just hit the Valley. There are plenty of guys as well as women who drive subarus to hook up with and get some pitches in.
matty

Trad climber
under the sea
Jul 2, 2016 - 06:43pm PT
Oh boy this should be good...





overwatch

climber
Arizona
Jul 2, 2016 - 06:44pm PT
been awhile there Schwarpy, what happened to Beardo?
bluering

Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
Jul 2, 2016 - 06:59pm PT
a picture says a thousand words, just sayin'...

oh yeah, and overall skill-level.

EDIT: Well done putting up a pic. It helps!
zurriola

Sport climber
Aliso Viejo, CA
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 2, 2016 - 07:07pm PT
This isn't a troll! Sincerely seeking advice.
High Fructose Corn Spirit

Gym climber
Jul 2, 2016 - 07:12pm PT
How long have you been climbing?

How would you describe your "mindset" - is it typical? unusual? unique?

Are you safety conscious?

What routes or mountains are on your tick list?

Help us fill in the blanks here. :)
zurriola

Sport climber
Aliso Viejo, CA
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 2, 2016 - 07:24pm PT
Absolutely, happy to answer :)

I've been climbing about 6 months. I'm extremely eager to increase my skill, and I really want to learn as much as I can. It's pretty insatiable. I can only toprope about 5.9 right now. I recently moved away from my climbing friends so my progress for learning new styles has slowed. I've learned a lot of safety from them but I still have a lot to learn. It's really important to me to be around people that are concerned about the safety of everyone, not just themselves.

Anyway, I'm slowing building up gear. I just bought a rope but don't have any anchor gear yet. I'd really enjoy being around people that are more advanced than me and would enjoy having someone support them as well as be my teacher. I've been to Yosemite a few times and I would love to return to climb harder routes, as well as learn multi pitch eventually.

Hope that was an acceptable little spiel. I'm having difficulty advancing because of my irrational fear of bouldering, my lack of gear/belay partners, and not being in close proximity to decent crags. I'm willing to drive if I'd be able to show up solo and find partners without looking like a gumby. Any and all advice is welcome.
micronut

Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
Jul 2, 2016 - 07:26pm PT
Showing up to one of the "get togethers" you see here and there on Supertopo wouldn't be a bad idea. "Shuteye get-together", "Luna Fiesta", "Yosemite Facelift" etc....

And keep the search up at the gym. Stay away from climbers wearing "sportswear" like Adidas, Underarmor or anything that looks like they do Crossfit. Most real trad climbers will walk in wearing nasty old Five10 approach shoes and will wear a stinky, torn, ratty patagonia zip T. They'll most likely also have below average hygiene and gingivitis when they smile. Those are the people you need to hook up with.

Good luck. See you in the hills.

Scott

And never feel bad letting people know you are a noob. I'd rather climb with a beginner thats stoked than an idiot who's been climbing for twenty years!

bluering

Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
Jul 2, 2016 - 07:26pm PT
A lot of friendly people from so cal here. Good luck.

I'm too far north I think, or I'd take ya out.
the Fet

climber
Tu-Tok-A-Nu-La
Jul 2, 2016 - 07:28pm PT
Assuming this is not a troll. (your post appears as a troll because you don't have a posting history, and a pretty woman looking for partners is sure to rouse up a bunch of high testosterone guys...)

1. Be careful. Not only of creepy guys, but you should read enough about climbing (e.g. freedom of the hills) to know if your partner knows what they are doing or not. A lot of people think they are experts but make dumb mistakes. Don't blindly trust someone. Know what makes a good anchor so you can judge for yourself. Usually someone who knows what they are doing will explain things, and respond to questions positively. Someone who gets defensive and standoffish when you question them is not someone you want to climb with.

2. Yes, you can show up at a climbing area and make friends. If you have shoes, a harness, a belay device, and a chalk bag, you are set. Offer to belay. Bring beer, snacks, and/or firewood. Camp 4 in yosemite has a bulletin board on the Ranger Kiosk where you pay for a site which is a great place to find partners. The next step is to buy a rope and offer to use it. A rope is the one piece of gear that wears out so offering your rope is a contribution. A place where a couple or group of people are setup to top rope is a good place to introduce yourself and ask if you could try the climb.

3. Post on mountainproject.com partners section. I've lined up partners when I'm in new areas in other states no problem. It's arranged by areas so for example you can look for Joshua Tree partners. You could get lucky and even find someone local to ride there with. You could offer to drive if they are supplying the gear and expertise. And see #1 above. Maybe meet a new person with a friend, so they see the person (let's be honest it's only guys you need to worry about) you are leaving with. And tell them you will call them to check in.

Add: I just saw you added where you already have a rope. And seriously being a pretty woman you'll have no problem just walking up to a group of people and asking if you could climb with them. You'll eventually meet 1 or more good long term partners who can teach you a lot. I learned a lot from partners, but I learned the most taking a weekend class on leading because I was learning from certified guides with the latest information and they were good teachers. Not all people you meet will have the knowledge and teaching skills to match that.
High Fructose Corn Spirit

Gym climber
Jul 2, 2016 - 07:29pm PT
Good! Just keep at it - doing what you're doing.
You'll have a list of partners in short time, I bet.

Have fun! And don't take this place too seriously,
it can be pretty harsh, also pretty superficial, sometimes.

And never feel bad letting people know you are a noob.

Yes.
zurriola

Sport climber
Aliso Viejo, CA
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 2, 2016 - 07:33pm PT
Thanks for the replies everyone! This isn't a troll, I just found out about this website recently. I've posted a little bit on reddit and recently made an account on mountain project. Since I just moved, I didn't have the need to search for belay partners but now I do.

locker - you're just rude. Please leave this feed.

micronut - that's great to hear there are get togethers! I didn't see them when I was browsing the forum before.. is there a specific section to find those?

bluering - thank you! I actually lived in Santa Clara last summer, but sadly I'm down south now.

The Fet - thank you for your advice. 1. I'm planning on taking some anchor and rescue courses through REI to build up those skills, so I know if someone else is doing it right. Safety is definitely important. 2. I'll try that! 3. I didn't realize mountain project had a partners section! thanks for the tip
zurriola

Sport climber
Aliso Viejo, CA
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 2, 2016 - 07:33pm PT
I appreciate the support High Fructose !

Edit: I'm happy to be a noob! I'm stoked on climbing and can't wait to learn more. Thank you
micronut

Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
Jul 2, 2016 - 07:39pm PT
And by the way......Supertopo is chock full of old dudes who are online daily playing around here and being generally rude and salty to eachother. One of their past times is creating fake avatars to lure in eachother to responding "catfish style." So they really can't believe in a nice normal gal coming on here asking for climbing advice. It just seems like a trap to them. Don't let em get to you. They're harmless......and they aren't going anywhere. They LIVE here on this site! Part of the wordeork around here, if you will.

Good luck and stick around.

Scott
Flip Flop

climber
Earth Planet, Universe
Jul 2, 2016 - 07:42pm PT
I'll be around Yosemite, Tuolumne and the high country all year and looking to climb easy trad. I'll climb with you.
zurriola

Sport climber
Aliso Viejo, CA
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 2, 2016 - 07:42pm PT
Macronut I appreciate the friendly replies and tips! The world (and this forum) definitely need more people like you.
healyje

Trad climber
Portland, Oregon
Jul 2, 2016 - 08:02pm PT
Trust me, most of the regulars here outside of Turner and Vitaly are low-T unless getting regular injections (Donini - I'm looking at you, I know you have some sort of secret sauce, it can't be natural)...
dikhed

climber
State of fugue and disbelief
Jul 2, 2016 - 08:09pm PT
Trust me, most of the regulars here outside of Turner and Vitaly are low-T unless getting regular injections (Donini - I'm looking at you, I know you have some sort of secret sauce, it can't be natural)...

Of course that includes you
zurriola

Sport climber
Aliso Viejo, CA
Topic Author's Reply - Jul 2, 2016 - 08:48pm PT
Thanks for the post & advice Mike! That gives me hope that I could possibly meet someone in the gym!
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