What is the point of relationships? [off topic]

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Robert L

climber
Topic Author's Original Post - Aug 30, 2014 - 06:52pm PT
Apologies if this has already been resolved. Did a forum search and could not find something on-topic.

Have been getting endless comments from family about "needing to find a relationship". So I have asked several friends why they are pursuing a relationship. Common answers:
A. Companionship
B. Want to make someone happy
C. Booty
D. Want a family

Would like to appreciate why others have come to seek and retain a relationship. Or why, they just left things as a strong friendship? Are there many people around who have just pursued friendships and are happy with that? BTW, I'm in my 30's. I think chicks are sexy-as while find that flogging the dolphin is itself a wonderful-satisfying feeling. Being a nurse, I find that giving myself in that way is also quite the satisfying privilege.

Hope this doesn't come across as a self-indulging query. I'm wondering if this is something that others consider.
scrubbing bubbles

Social climber
Uranus
Aug 30, 2014 - 07:00pm PT
I hope your not flogging your patients' dolphins
Charlie D.

Trad climber
Western Slope, Tahoe Sierra
Aug 30, 2014 - 07:03pm PT
Because it beats the alternative.

BTW avoid those who think it is your job to make them happy. Find someone that is happy and healthy already and enjoy the ride.
Peter Haan

Trad climber
Santa Cruz, CA
Aug 30, 2014 - 07:16pm PT
Perhaps Robert, your reading has not yet reached this piercing dictum of ee cummings:

"Unless you love someone, nothing else makes any sense"

It is actually a dire warning.
anita514

Gym climber
Great White North
Aug 30, 2014 - 07:19pm PT
I very quickly I realized that everything I saw, thought or did, was seen through the prism of a writer. I could stop writing, but I could not stop being a writer. When I say I donít like people, and want to be alone, and that people just get in the way of what I want, I think I mean it. But the same applies; I can stop being human, but will always be human. When youíre alone - truly alone - you realize that all that you can do and experience without the baggage of love and friendship of another to weigh you down, is worthless, as these things have no value unless they can be shared with people you canít help yourself but love.
Peter Haan

Trad climber
Santa Cruz, CA
Aug 30, 2014 - 07:25pm PT
Anita would attribute her quote to Andy Kilpatrick here:

http://andy-kirkpatrick.com/blog/view/alone_with_stalin
clinker

Trad climber
Santa Cruz, California
Aug 30, 2014 - 08:20pm PT
Lackadaisical definition, without interest, vigor, or determination; listless; lethargic:

Seems to fit.



nah000

climber
canuckistan
Aug 30, 2014 - 08:35pm PT
friction.
Ed Hartouni

Trad climber
Livermore, CA
Aug 30, 2014 - 08:36pm PT
if you think of it as a collaboration, goods ones are founded on the mutual feeling that each collaborator has something to bring to the enterprise, without which that enterprise would fail.

a relationship of two works the same way, each bringing to the table something that helps the success of those two people's goals... together, where one alone would not succeed.

The user formerly known as stzzo

climber
Sneaking up behind you
Aug 30, 2014 - 08:51pm PT
The point is mutual satisfaction of needs.

You've already listed some of those needs.

Others: the pleasure of caring for someone, feeling loved / needed / part of something, tax breaks, citizenship, financial stability, health insurance, get your family off your back, climbing partner...
Ron Anderson

Trad climber
Relic MilkEye and grandpoobah of HBRKRNH
Aug 30, 2014 - 08:57pm PT
Im looking for an elderly type gal, preferably with massive health problems- one foot in the grave, the other on a banana peel, and a large, large bank account..;^)
jstan

climber
Aug 30, 2014 - 09:09pm PT
Once while bush whacking along a stream with a trickle of water in it, the trickling sounded just like voices. I decided I had been alone too long.

Recently I heard (maybe on ST) of an amicable divorce in which he got the dog and she got their accountant. What they had there was "a failure to communicate."
moosedrool

climber
lost, far away from Poland
Aug 30, 2014 - 09:17pm PT
A single is just half a person. That's my feeling.

But I am pretty sure I am being used just for sex, as I have nothing else to offer.

;)

Moose
clinker

Trad climber
Santa Cruz, California
Aug 30, 2014 - 09:29pm PT
But I am pretty sure I am being used just for sex

Moose as sexy a beast as ever was corralled.
WBraun

climber
Aug 30, 2014 - 09:35pm PT
What is the point of relationships?

It's all up to you.

If you still don't know then you have no soul thus you're just a robot ......
dirtbag

climber
Aug 30, 2014 - 09:41pm PT
Have you ever been love? Was that other person in love with you?
Daphne

Trad climber
Northern California
Aug 30, 2014 - 09:58pm PT
To learn, to grow, to heal, to know more about yourself. To experience the power found in being deeply vulnerable to another human and having them love you. To learn how to love others.

If you are struggling to know why to move closer to someone in a loving relationship, there's a lot for you to learn in relationship. What scares you about closeness?
moosedrool

climber
lost, far away from Poland
Aug 30, 2014 - 10:51pm PT
How about polygamy?

That's a lot of sharing...

Moose
scrubbing bubbles

Social climber
Uranus
Aug 30, 2014 - 11:26pm PT
It's said today's tech generation is too busy multi-tasking to develop meaningful relationships

...the twin gods Nihilism and Narcissism must be served; and a slow death replaces what used to be called "being human"
moosedrool

climber
lost, far away from Poland
Aug 30, 2014 - 11:45pm PT
SB, i am afraid you are right.

When I hear somebody chose his career over a good relationship I feel sorry for the guy.

50% divorce rate???

I blame... Don't know, us?

A good dose of tolerance and understanding in a relationship goes a long way too.

Moose
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