HS Graduation Question

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Reeotch

climber

4 Corners Area

Topic Author's Original Post - Apr 23, 2014 - 07:25pm PT

So, graduation is looming. We have a seinor in the house. In discussing the festivities an issue that always comes up is weather or not to allow the teen moms to receive their diploma - baby in hand.

Teen pergnancy is a big problem here (Navajo Nation). While the circumstances of each teen mom differ, the unfortunate fact is that many of these babies are "accidents", some are intentional, and some may even be the result of rape. Navajos traditionally look down on abortion.

I am afraid of the message this might send to other teen girls, when they see some teen mom being applauded for her acomplishment and getting all this positive attention. Too many girls are already eying parenthood as a percieved "way out" of their difficulties.

Teen moms should definitely be praised for graduating high school, and their challenge is much greater than the average student. I just don't think they should be allowed to "walk" with their baby.

What say you parents out there?

mouse from merced

Trad climber

The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.

Apr 23, 2014 - 07:27pm PT

One case at a time, no generalizing, dude. It's the best way. And hard.

Alpamayo

Trad climber

Sacramento, CA

Apr 23, 2014 - 08:06pm PT

Do you live in Chinle? My sister taught there for several years.

SC seagoat

Trad climber

Santa Cruz CA

Apr 23, 2014 - 08:06pm PT

What about the fathers? Will you hold them back too? This sounds very one sided and terribly hurtful and unfair. If they did the work and earned the credits and grades then their personal circumstance should not be used as "sending some sort of message". Honor accomplishment, regardless if you are a teen mother, father, person of color or socio economic status.
Susan
edit: I may have misunderstood the part about "walking with their baby". Unless they are graduating from the Teen Mothers' Program and not just high school in general then I agree that there is not a need to walk with the baby...but if the suggestion is holding them from "walking" just because they had a baby then to me that's horribly discriminating.

Gene

climber

Apr 23, 2014 - 08:16pm PT

Let the graduation ceremony honor the academic accomplishments of the students. Unless every kid can bring a friend, parent, mentor, etc. along on the walk.

Disclaimer: I know nothing about the culture and traditions of the Navajo Nation.

g

John M

climber

Apr 23, 2014 - 08:17pm PT

graduation ceremony should be about the person graduating. Not their parents, kids, or siblings.

my two cents… with no background in reservation life, but having worked with teens, including teen moms.

StahlBro

Trad climber

San Diego, CA

Apr 23, 2014 - 08:30pm PT

I have a daughter graduating (sans offspring) this year. I have spent some time on the Rez, but don't pretend to know what is right there.

The focus should be on celebrating the accomplishment and encouraging it, regardless of the other circumstances. Focus on the graduate.

Reeotch

climber

4 Corners Area

Topic Author's Reply - Apr 23, 2014 - 10:02pm PT

Thanks for the input!

To be clear, I am in no way suggesting that these girls should not receive their diploma with the rest of the class. The question was about bringing the baby up onto the stage.

I see what you're saying Mouse, but I don't think you could do that in a fair way. Its an all or nothing thing.

Reeotch

climber

4 Corners Area

Topic Author's Reply - Apr 23, 2014 - 10:17pm PT

I like what Cragman and John M had to say.

To answer T Hawk's darts: If you must know, traditionally (that word has a specific meaning for Navajos)any interference with natural reproduction is frowned upon, including contraception, but they're not unique in that.

"Maybe the high school is failing to educate them on this."

Grrr. I'll grant you parenthood, good job, but a teachers influence only goes so far. You really ought to try working with teenagers on a daily basis - hundreds of them.

Today, I was teaching about the placenta and how certain substances are able to pass from mother to baby . . . I'm doing my best.

thebravecowboy

climber

in the face of the fury of the funk

Apr 23, 2014 - 10:19pm PT

I agree with Cragman.

bluering

Trad climber

Santa Clara, CA

Apr 23, 2014 - 10:26pm PT

I'm with Cragman on this.

As for messaging to yer own kids? That's what parents are for, to teach kids responsibility.

Teach your children the value of education AND waiting for the right time to have kids. Kids need guidance on these matters.

Abstinence is foolproof, and a good way to go, but if they have to stray from you, teach them about condoms.

Heaven forbid, teach them how having kids too early (before an occupation) can ruin their lives.

happiegrrrl

Trad climber

www.climbaddictdesigns.com

Apr 23, 2014 - 10:31pm PT

Here's a question: Do the majority of teen mothers there graduate high school? Majority(even a small majority) drop out because caring for their infant and continuing with school ends up being too overwhelming?

according to this website(Dr. Phil)http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/684as well as similar information on several other websites.

Teen pregnancy is the number one reason why teen girls drop out of school.

Only one-third of adolescent mothers will graduate high school, and only slightly over 1 percent of those will earn a college degree before they turn 30.

That's in the general population. I assume girls on reservations may have an even greater challenge to complete their high school education once becoming a mother.

Sometimes when a student graduates despite obstacles(maybe they were in a horrific accident which resulted in physical hardships), they might receive some acknowledgement that goes above/beyond what the balance of the student body receives. Would we even consider that as problematic?

Maybe it IS a particularly poignant accomplishment for these young ladies to have persevered. I think maybe...it is. Maybe the fact that they did persevere is something to celebrate, to acknowledge, to be proud of.

bluering

Trad climber

Santa Clara, CA

Apr 23, 2014 - 10:49pm PT

O.k., Happie makes a valid point, but I'll add to it, and I'm sure I'm going to get the usual feminist sh#t from my observations.

In general, women are the ones who are the bearers of our children (or puppies, cubs, etc...).

It is THEIR responsibility to prevent unwanted pregnancies if they choose to f*#k. It is the responsibility of their parents to educate them as to this potential 'trap'.

It is also the responsibility of parents to educate their boys that f*#king a girl, just may get her pregnant.

But the end-burden lies with the woman. I oppose abortion, and for this reason, we need to teach our youth the consequences of sex. Women tend to get 'stuck' with the babies.

I think it's a decline in our culture where sex is seen as cheap, but nobody considers the consequences. Sex is not cheap, it should mean something.

Bullwinkle

Boulder climber

Apr 23, 2014 - 10:58pm PT

"In general, women are the ones who are the bearers of our children (or puppies, cubs, etc...)" ummm, yes Blue, in General, human baby's come from Women, puppies come from dogs. . .

edit, just messing with you Blue. . .

bluering

Trad climber

Santa Clara, CA

Apr 23, 2014 - 11:01pm PT

Bullwinkle, I meant that in nature it usually the female who bear the children. Some species, I expect some can have either bear the children, prolly in the reptilian world. I'm not a biologist or herpetologist, I was leaving room for error.

Reeotch

climber

4 Corners Area

Topic Author's Reply - Apr 23, 2014 - 11:08pm PT

^^^I was wondering about that.

bluering, you're a brave man. I can't agree with you that it is HER responsibility to arrange for contraception. That's the same sh!t many teen moms get from their boyfriend's family.
Plus, there may also be alot of pressure to go bareback - alone with a linebacker in the backseat . . . Too many looser guys just get to walk from their responsibility, and the mentality you express is a big part of that.

StahlBro

Trad climber

San Diego, CA

Apr 23, 2014 - 11:16pm PT

Please don't let the "males" off the hook.

Daphne

Trad climber

Northern California

Apr 23, 2014 - 11:25pm PT

Bluering are you trolling? You have to be. You play you pay, on both sides. Condoms can be found everywhere.

If you think that bringing a baby on stage has a significant effect on a teen's decision to have a baby, you are very far away from the teen mind, whether you have a teen or not. Shame is never the way to teach, especially to an adolescent.

On the other hand, if the school doesn't want to allow a teen's children on stage with her or him, that seems fine with me. How many institutions create a space for family when receiving the handoff of the diploma? Not very many, I'd guess.

bluering

Trad climber

Santa Clara, CA

Apr 23, 2014 - 11:50pm PT

bluering, you're a brave man. I can't agree with you that it is HER responsibility to arrange for contraception. That's the same sh!t many teen moms get from their boyfriend's family.
Plus, there may also be alot of pressure to go bareback - alone with a linebacker in the backseat . . . Too many looser guys just get to walk from their responsibility, and the mentality you express is a big part of that.

I DID say that it was a parental job to police this behavior, and to educate kids when Mommy and Daddy aren't around. Value-systems, baby!