Burning Man?


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Trad climber
Topic Author's Original Post - Apr 19, 2012 - 06:22pm PT
Anyone headed to Burning Man in Nevada this year is welcome to visit our camp Reincarnation and Penance on the playa at black rock city. You need to supply your own ticket. If you don't know anything about the festival read the first timers guide and survival guide and tickets page at http://www.burningman.com
Email playapatrol at gmail for more info not answered on that site.
Jebus H Bomz

Reno, Nuh VAAAA duh
Apr 19, 2012 - 06:23pm PT

The Granite State.
Apr 19, 2012 - 06:25pm PT
Burning man was officially played out when they began limiting ticket sales.

Have fun though, it's a great two weeks if you help run your camp.

Big Wall climber
The Eastside.... UUUUHHHHHHH!
Apr 19, 2012 - 07:02pm PT
Not looking like it going to happen for me this year but you never know!

Mountain climber
Aug 28, 2013 - 06:24pm PT
Not going to Burning Man?

Here's how to enjoy Burning Man from the comfort of your own home...

Pay an escort of your preference to not bathe for five days, cover
themselves in glitter, dust, and sunscreen, wear a skanky neon wig,
dance naked, then say they have a lover back home at the end of the

Tear down your house. Put it in a truck. Drive 10 hours in any
direction. Put the house back together.

Invite everyone you meet to come over and party. When they leave,
follow them back to their homes, drink all their booze,
and break things.

Stack all your fans in one corner of the living room.
Put on your most fabulous outfit.
Turn the fans on full blast.
Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in front of them.

Buy a new set of expensive camping gear.
Break it.

Lean back in a chair until that point where you're just about to
fall over, but you catch yourself at the last moment.
Hold that position for 9 hours.

Only use the toilet in a house that is at least 3 blocks away.
Drain all the water from the toilet. Only flush it every 3 days.

Hide all the toilet paper.

Set your house thermostat so it's 50 degrees for the first hour
of sleep and 100 degrees the rest of the night.

Before eating any food, drop it in a sandbox and lick a battery.

Spend thousands of dollars and several months of your life building
a deeply personal art work. Hide it in a funhouse on the edge of
the city.
Hire people to come by and alternate saying "I love it" and "dude,
this sucks". Then burn it.

Set up a DJ system downwind of a three alarm fire. Play a short
loop of drum'n'bass until the embers are cold.

Make a list of all the things you'll do different next year.
Never look at it.

Have a 3 a.m. soul baring conversation with a drag nun in platforms,
a crocodile and Bugs Bunny. Be unable to tell if you're hallucinating.
Lust after Bugs Bunny.

Cut, burn, electrocute, bruise, and sunburn various parts of your body.
Forget how you did it. Don't go to a doctor.

"Downsize" last year's camp by adding two geodesic domes, a new sound
system, art car, and 20 newbies.

Don't sleep for 5 days. Take a wide variety of hallucinogenic/emotion
altering drugs. Pick a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend, or both.

Spend a whole year rummaging through thrift stores for the perfect,
most outrageous costume. Forget to pack it.

Shop at Wal-mart, Cost-Co, and Home Depot until your car is completely
packed with stuff.
Tell everyone that you're going to a "Leave-No-Trace" event.
Empty your car into a dumpster.

Listen to music you hate for 168 hours straight, or until you
think you are going to scream. Scream.
Realize you'll love the music for the rest of your life.

Spend 5 months planning a "theme camp" like it's the
invasion of Normandy.
Spend Monday-Wednesday building the camp.
Spend Thurs-Sunday nowhere near camp because you're sick of it
or can't find it.

Walk around your neighborhood and knock on doors until someone
offers you cocktails and dinner.

Bust your ass for a "community." See all the attention get focused
on the drama queen crybaby.

Get so drunk you can't recognize your own house.
Walk slowly around the block for 5 hours.

Tell your boss you aren't coming to work this week but he should
"gift" you a paycheck anyway. When he refuses accuse him of not
loving the "community".

Search alleys until you find a couch so unbelievably tacky and
nasty filthy that a state college frat house wouldn't want it.
Take a nap on the couch and sleep like you are king of the world.

Ask your most annoying neighbor to interrupt your fun several
times a day with third hand gossip about every horrible thing
that's happened in the last 24 hours.
Have them wear khaki.

Go to a museum. Find one of Salvador Dali's more disturbing,
but beautiful paintings.
Climb inside it.

Bungwater Hollow, Ida-ho
Aug 28, 2013 - 06:43pm PT
How close to the Bud Light tent will this be and how many beer tokens do I get with a complimentary ticket?

Sport climber
Aug 28, 2013 - 06:55pm PT
I nearly sh#t myself reading that, I wanted more.

Aug 28, 2013 - 08:09pm PT
Squishy, I always wanted to know what burning man was all about. Thanks, as far as I can tell you nailed it. Thanks for the instructions, might do one next weekend, if I have stopped laughing that is.

Trad climber
Aug 28, 2013 - 08:16pm PT
The only thing Squishy left out was doing the fan & vacuum cleaner bag three times on hour.
Timid TopRope

Social climber
'used to be Paradise, CA
Aug 28, 2013 - 08:18pm PT
Squishy left out who it's attributed to. He originally posted with an attribute but has since edited that out. Why?

Social climber
Moorpark, CA.
Aug 28, 2013 - 08:21pm PT
Squish.... +++++1000


Truckee, CA
Aug 28, 2013 - 08:33pm PT
Wow, squishy, youre a goddamn poet! The only thing I like about having burning man finally start is all the people are finally gone and out there so I dont have to listen to them go on and on about burning man anymore....and how we just 'dont know'. I okay with not knowing. Now all we have to do is make it through the damn decompression parties

The Granite State.
Aug 28, 2013 - 08:39pm PT
Really? Burning Man was pretty epic every year I went. I assembled our art car, a repurposed UPS van. It was sweet, a full on dragonfly. It wasn't hippies that built it, it was a bunch of redneck carpenters from Placerville/Tahoe. Mostly raft guides, but some climbers as well.

Burning Man isn't just coked out city folks, trust me. There are lots of country folks that build stuff as well.
mouse from merced

Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
Aug 28, 2013 - 08:42pm PT
Map to the proceedings.
Map to the proceedings.
Credit: GI blues
Put this on your wall and use it to meditate till the time is right. Then go climbing.
Clint Cummins

Trad climber
SF Bay area, CA
Aug 28, 2013 - 08:44pm PT
The original list of 10 items (since expanded) dates back at least to 2001:

Mountain climber
Aug 29, 2013 - 12:34pm PT
Yup, it's been growing and I saw it go by the other day, friggen hilarious!

Mountain climber
Aug 29, 2013 - 12:37pm PT
Squishy left out who it's attributed to. He originally posted with an attribute but has since edited that out. Why?

Because it was already a repost, I can't actually find the original source, I think this one has been passed around like a two bit WH%$#% for years...it has a life of it's own and I didn't want to give credit where it wasn't due, that was just the source my source quoted (false advertising)..
Jebus H Bomz

Peavine Basecamp
Aug 29, 2013 - 12:49pm PT
Awesome analogies.

I'm at the "it is what it is" phase with Burning Man. The irony of the counterculture staging at WalMart still tickles me, but it's just (mostly) a bunch of young people looking to party in the desert. Yeah, it's gonna be big, dumb, and at the end of the day not make much sense.

Oh, I know, dressing up the desire to party, get bombed, and f*#k like there are some higher order things going on is a bit annoying, but there are probably worse things than faux enlightenment.

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
Aug 29, 2013 - 12:57pm PT
Credit: survival

Credit: survival

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
Aug 29, 2013 - 12:58pm PT
Thank god for Burning Man.

It gives all the new age nuts a BIG place to go.

Meanwhile, Zozobra goes on kicking humble New Mexico ass, just as it has for 85 years.

Burning Man is the overgrown poseur wannabe red headed step-child.

Credit: survival
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