I was that guy!

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originalpmac

Mountain climber
Anywhere I like
Topic Author's Original Post - Mar 27, 2012 - 07:40pm PT
Couple of years ago I saw a guy at a Furthur show almost get rolled by security. They circled him blocked his escape and looked right at him. His reaction? Shoved some other hippie out of his way then took off to the center of the floor emptying his pockets and losing his shirt(and his sh!t) to try to "blend in with the crowd". He freaked out for about fifteen minutes making the not so whacked outa their gourd people feel real uncomfortable. After a bit he realized they were probably no longer after him found his friends his shirt and went back to dancing. Hilarious. I know because I was that guy. We all (at least some of us) have an interesting story along those lines and they're usually hilarious. It got me thinking... Anyone care to share theirs?
michaeld

Sport climber
Sacramento
Mar 27, 2012 - 07:48pm PT
Long night following one of the many long nights right after my 21st birthday... I snapped my friend doing this after he walked into some unlocked office drunk at around 2-3am.

cintune

climber
Midvale School for the Gifted
Mar 27, 2012 - 08:31pm PT
Saw Utopia in a small club; they had these big tower-like speaker boxes that were hollow, just big enough to climb up into and assume the fetal position, absorbing the bass. Security was pretty cool about it, took them a while to notice, then they just tapped me on the foot and motioned for me to come down. "Hey, you can't do that, man."
mucci

Trad climber
The pitch of Bagalaar above you
Mar 27, 2012 - 10:37pm PT
Wide Spread Panic, Bill graham civic center 05'?

Pulled the old "HEY WTF IS THAT?" and pointed.

Then hit the gogo juice, jumped over a few trustafarians in the VIP line and never looked back.

Nothing sweeter than free music.
survival

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
Mar 28, 2012 - 12:34am PT
Last Jerry show I saw, 95, the year he bailed his Earthly body. Security was tight. The sound in the upper tier was awful. (sports arena)

I told my spiral eyed friend we were going down to the SOUND!

First, we snuck into the main floor and copped a couple seats. After a couple tunes, the people showed for their reserve seats..DAMN! Then we melted into the shadows along the wall, couple more numbers, then the Gestapo...DAMN! Booted to the concourse.

Went to another section, flat out BEGGED a cool old dude about letting us in, gave him my whole sob story about not seeing the Dead for years and coming all the way from Alaska, for sh*tty sound in the upper deck? Please? C'mon man, this is HUGE! (true)

He said, "hey I'd let you through that door, but the Nazi woman on the other side of the door will send you right back". I looked him straight in the eyes and said "Not if you don't let me up there she won't..." He smiled and said ok. So we got to the Nazi woman she said OUT and I laid it on thicker and hotter than ever, one of the best sob stories of my life. She said it was the best she'd heard and "go stand by the wall". SUCCESS!!
BLAZING AWAY!!

My deep space partner just kept shaking his head and saying "I can't believe you pulled that off, you silver tongued bastard."

Edit: I know, not as good as full on outlaw, but it felt particularly satisfying overcoming numerous hurdles and eventually being where the sound was right, with THE MAN'S permission!
hooblie

climber
from out where the anecdotes roam
Mar 28, 2012 - 07:58am PT
reposts:

i took a spin through the west in a '78 scirocco with an after market T-top. it was a wide sunroof with a splitter bar in the middle and tilted with simple hinge and buckle type mechanism. those connenctors could be released and the glass stored away so i tossed my stuffed sleeping bag in the bucket seat and rolled through zion and yos with my head popped up above the roofline, fully gawking in slo-mo and waving the motivated on around. steering wheel was between my knees so i had the posture normally associated with clowns on tricycles. it was a heartwarming experience to be passed by grinning tourists, a double twist of irony.

the enhanced view you get of the crags as the pines blur on by is a special effect on the cheap. i let the euphoria go to my head though. then too young for a senior moment i just plain screwed up the next day speeding on I-5 in the southern san joaquin. i had grown comfortable unbuckling that glass and pulling it inside on the diagonal while pinning the wheel with my knee. worked fine at scenic valley speeds. at 80 per it ripped right out of my hands and the view in the mirror was a shower of sparkles and regret.

i braked hard when it occurred to me that the replacement glass might come without the hardware. if you've ever passed an idiot in reverse alongside the plain featureless interstate, 15 miles from an exit, you might not have guessed i was looking for three things half the size of a candy bar and glitter.

back up to speed now for a lesson in aero dynamics. i pull over again, this time with that feeling of dread when a tire goes flat in 110 degree sunny socal. first clue was that wop wop wop wop like a heavy lift helo right here in the cab with me. first mystery card was all four fully functional tires. what to do but press on and here comes the pnuematic speed bag to the eardrums again beginning at about 40 mph.

it turns out that my open top in the airflow operates like some kind of contra bass flute waffling the pressure zones into a harmonic resonance which would pass as torture on the gonzales scale of indignities. by the time i got back home to wyoming i had found an interim solution. down with the windows, tilt the other glass and lash a wiffle bat across the opening above my head, keep it below 60 and smile back at the puzzled tourists. double dose of chagrin.

so i remove the glass for slow speeds only. the slowest of all had to do with the non payment of fees at a pay n park. an oil drum cable locked to my door handle threatened to crimp my style. not to worry, that cable was long enough to allow the barrel to rest precariously on the roof and i was back to my old ways, smiling at the passers by and keeping it on the down low. chagrined by half and chumpin the man.

~~~~~~~~~

there's a little beach on the san mateo coast called bean hollow. nearby is a little used road that splits off the coast hiway, and shortly thereafter crosses a marshy creek and heads for pescadero. the far side of the creek was as far as i got in my vw bus,
full of hitch-hikers when a tire blew, the spare was flat.

these were festive times, no sense in breaking up a good party so we all walked back to the hiway and continued hitch-hiking as before, just a more consolidated group, plus me with the spare.

in those days even groups could successfully catch rides and later, in half moon bay, i parted company with the gang to return with my now inflated spare which rolled so much nicer. the slope started off gradually toward where the bridge grossed the marsh and when the tire picked up a little speed i lengthened my stride. the jog alongside turned to a lope, then to flat out sprint, but the tire had the advantage and accelerated away as it picked up bigtime speed and drifted toward an abuttment curb whereupon it made an astonishing leap for the sky and splashed down a substantial distance out into the cattails.

evening was chilly and there was nothing to do but wade out about chest deep and retrieve the tire, the added weight of which really drove my feet and knees into the muck trying to push the thing onto the bank ahead of me. what a mess i made of my van
and how i cursed that measely little heater
wildone

climber
EP
Mar 28, 2012 - 09:44am PT
Awesome tales, hooblie!
Vitaliy M.

Mountain climber
San Francisco
Mar 28, 2012 - 11:17am PT
after my 21st birthday... I snapped my friend doing this after he walked into some unlocked office drunk at around 2-3am.

hmmmm michaeld. I guess I will take a new shiny #5 cam, so your older brother/mom do not find out about your alcoholic days and criminal activity ;)
plund

Social climber
OD, MN
Mar 28, 2012 - 11:59am PT
BITD, one of the bars in downtown StilH2O, MN had quarter taps (ie 25 cents per brew)on Wednesday nights. Myself & a group of co-conspirators decided to attend the event. Only days before, some poor sod had managed to fall off the cliff (app. 30 feet) near the top of what we termed the "Main Street Stairs", a long concrete staircase leading downtown. IIRC, he ended up in the ICU. Coming to the environs of the accident, I asked the fateful question "How stupid do you have to be......etc". You can guess what happened next - I stepped over the rock wall, sidled to what I thought was the edge, only to set my lead foot firmly on what turned out to be long grass growing over roots & air. In a classic Wile E Coyote moment, I about-faced as I fell & sunk my fingers into the ground, resulting in cartoonish finger-grooves as down I went. Still remember the wide-eyed horrified look on my buddy Tom's face. Landed in a pile of leaves & discarded Xmas trees, with rock buttresses within arm's length either side of me - somehow, I had missed them. Lost my wind for a few minutes, had a bad scratch on one elbow but mostly undamaged. Proceeded to the bar, slammed a couple quick ones then went to the loo to clean up, where I got the shakes so bad I had to put the beer down! Needless to say, the mockery was intense, AND well-deserved.

YES, I WAS THAT GUY!!!!
originalpmac

Mountain climber
Anywhere I like
Topic Author's Reply - Mar 28, 2012 - 12:28pm PT
A good friend of mine was on Dead tour in the early nineties. They were leaving a show in Kansas or something and one of his friends couldn't find his dog. After a while of searching my friend tell the dogs owner he's sorry but they gotta go. They leave make it to Alpine Valley which is couple of states away. They're chilling in the tent when they heard a scratching at the door. "holy shit! Otis you made it!" apparently the dog caught a ride with someone else. Otis was on his own tour.
michaeld

Sport climber
Sacramento
Mar 28, 2012 - 05:06pm PT
hmmmm michaeld. I guess I will take a new shiny #5 cam, so your older brother/mom do not find out about your alcoholic days and criminal activity ;)

I don't get it.

Let's go rock climbing.
JEleazarian

Trad climber
Fresno CA
Mar 28, 2012 - 05:37pm PT
Unfortunately (or fortunately) I wasn't present for this story, but it was related to me by one of the two who was. Two climbers, who shall remain anonymous because they're both bigger than I am (and who also placed a Mickey Mouse body and hands on the South Clock of the Campanile at The Univesity of California in May of 1970) were out drinking. When they finished, on the way back to their car, they saw a parked police car. One of them went over to investigate, quickly came back and they headed towrd their car.

Before they got there, the Law siezed them. It seems the curious climber had liberated a flashlight from the patrol car. Since our heros' minds were obviously impaired, the cops arrested and booked them for public drunkenness, and left them in the drunk tank.

As the night wore on, the flashlight libertor started yelling "Is it midnight yet?" One of the guards went over there and asked, sarcastically, "What's so important about midnight?" to which our hero replied "At midnight, Crusader Rabbit's coming and busting us out of here!"

They let them go without filing charges.

John
overwatch

climber
Jan 15, 2016 - 07:41am PT
I lived on the streets, ran with gangs and lived for punk rock shows all in an effort to 'test' myself. I have a load of them. It is just whether I want to spend the time writing them up. Many would be self incriminating...well there was this one time at the Olympic...
Capt.

climber
some eastside hovel
Jan 15, 2016 - 08:32am PT
About '90 or so I was living in Bozeman and Metallica/Faith No More were playing Billings. It's a couple hour drive. My buddy and I bought tickets and reserved a motel room. The day of the show we decided to bring our mountain bikes for a little ride the next day. We got all our stuff packed and headed out. Got to Billings a little early so we consumed a few toadstools and decided to go for a mini ride before the show. My buddy says "hey, lets look at the tickets and get psyched before we ride!!" As soon as he said "tickets" my heart sank. I suddenly realized I had left the tickets back in Bozeman at my folks house. No way were we going to make it home and back in time. Called mi madre and BEGGED her to meet us half way. She was having none of it. She said she would call the ticket office and see what she could do. She called us back and said to go to the ticket office and we would be OK. So I had to approach the ticket booth for a Metallica show and say "Ummm, yeah my mom called..." She gave use new tickets and it was a great show. Metallica wasn't SUPER huge at the time so I doubt you could get away with the "my mom called" excuse these days. :-D
rottingjohnny

Sport climber
Shetville , North of Los Angeles
Jan 15, 2016 - 10:30am PT
One summer night , after several beers , i climbed a lift tower outside a fenced off Beatlemania concert , hand traversed the chair lift cables ( 30 feet off the ground ) to another lift tower and climbed back down inside undetected...
allapah

climber
Jan 15, 2016 - 11:52am PT
Speaking of lift towers, who was it that traversed the lift cables at Boreal Ridge at the Dead show there in the mid-eighties?
Lorenzo

Trad climber
Portland Oregon
Jan 15, 2016 - 12:55pm PT
When I was in college, three or four groups a year would come and play.

My standard ploy was to wear a black TShirt ( all roadies wore black T shirts), make sure I had a big roll of keys ( I had a janitors job on the other side of campus for cash) and go to the loading dock where they were hauling stuff out the truck. I'd walk in the truck and grab a speaker or something, carry it onto the stage, and then pretend I was arranging speaker cords until I could go find a seat in the first few rows in the audience. Saved a lot of ticket fees.

And yeah, I also spent a drunken concert inside a speaker at a James Gang concert.

what?
Mike Honcho

Trad climber
Glenwood Springs, CO
Oct 6, 2018 - 12:00pm PT
I posted a YouTube clip(less than 2 minutes) of a really illegal BASE jump off a dam by the Gunnison river......

Yes, the FBI did facial recognition and busted EVERYBODY starting with me and my wife. I was "That Guy"..

Caylor!
ecdh

climber
the east
Oct 6, 2018 - 02:29pm PT
japan has an annual 4 day festival called fuji rock. big numbers, big names, huge logistics.
a bunch of us would show up to the rear stage entrance in a white van, harnesses, guiding company caps and simply get waved thru - bunch of round eyes in a van? must be riggers. knowing how easy it was wed continue the charade and usually get on stage. ive had brief conversations with fat boy slim himself, the cure and groove armadas roadies and john paul jones about checking the lighting....watched the beastie boys, flaming lips and iggy pop from the stage side.
often we actually did end up doing a little work - hauling tarps over stuff in the rain, one year we had to chase down and secure 2 huge inflated balls, another we got to escort 2 erotic dancers to a peep show.
did it 4 years in a row.
Ksolem

Trad climber
Monrovia, California
Oct 6, 2018 - 02:35pm PT
A little long winded, but...

In the early 1990’s I played with a punk band called Toss That Doll. Part of our schtick was to toss naked baby dolls out into the crowd, along with at least one life sized doll for other uses. The singer’s mic was in a naked baby doll which he would manipulate in strange ways while he performed. Anyway, one night we opened for a Geffen band called Little Caesar at some arena in Anahiem near Disneyland. The whole deal made no sense at all, since Little Caesar was the opposite of punk.

My friend Pete played guitar and wrote the band’s material. Before the show we checked out a nearby bar. A very hot Latina was flirting with Pete, and he with her, until her large and deadly looking man saw it, and we realized it was a set up. It was one of those deals where the chick gets her jollies watching her man beat the snot out of another guy to preserve her honor. We split. Little did we know that he was a roadie for the other band, and that we’d be seeing him again later.

We always had a good party after a show, and this time was no exception. We had four rooms on the upper floor of a Motel 6 on Chapman Blvd just off interstate 5. We took all the mattresses from three of the rooms into the fourth and made a padded cell. That’s where the nitrous got served. And believe it or not we had fans, so the couches remaining in the other rooms took a beating too.

I was outside on the balcony having a beer when I saw a black Camaro roll in and park at the far end of the lot the lot. Out got our hottie from the bar and her Samoan looking man. Then another car, a Mustang I think, rolled in and parked next to the Camaro. Out got two nasty looking guys. This situation had gang violence written all over it. Pete’s bit of flirting was as good an excuse as any for maiming or killing a couple white boys in the wrong neighborhood. They hadn’t seen me when I ducked into the padded cell looking for Pete. He was propped up in a corner with his eyes closed. I shook him back to consciousness. Luckily nitrous wears off quickly. I told him what was coming down, and that we had to make a break for it.

We walked down the balcony toward the back of the building, away from our assailants. My 280ZX was parked right by the back stairs. I’m not sure when they made us, but we heard their cars rev up before we were in mine. It was game on. As I spun around the back end of the motel and up the lot alongside the opposite side of the building the Camaro was hot on my tail. I couldn’t tell where the other car was, and I was afraid it was about to pull out in front of me trapping us.

It looked like I had a clear shot across 8 lanes of Chapman and onto the Interstate 5 on-ramp. Nothing to do but go for it. I dropped third gear and stood on it. The big in-line six responded accordingly and we shot across toward the on-ramp. Of course the ramp was not lined up to accommodate cars coming across Chapman at a 90-degree angle, so I had to swing right, then hard left to get lined up. Drop 2nd, swing it around into the ramp, redline it, back up to third. The Camaro stuck to us like glue. Then, as the ramp climbed up to merge into the freeway it made another right turn. Missing this turn meant hitting a brick wall. I made the turn by the kin of my teeth and glanced in the mirror to see the Camaro eat it into the wall. We didn’t go back to the party.


Edit, I just got curious and looked at some maps to check myself (It's been a few years.) The main drag we crossed was Lincoln, and it looks like the old Motel 6 is long gone. I thought of chapman because we played a few gigs along there too.
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