ARTICLE: Coming Home for Christmas by Niall Grimes

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Mick Ryan

Trad climber

The Peaks

Topic Author's Original Post - Dec 24, 2011 - 11:32am PT

I wondered she might be into kinky sex or something, or maybe her big fat lorry driver husband was going to tie me up and all.

Read the article: http://www.ukclimbing.com/articles/page.php?id=4231

Have a good one.

Mick

Brunosafari

Boulder climber

Dec 24, 2011 - 12:12pm PT

Thanks Mick, for this very original, and sharp writing by "Grimer."

Studly

Trad climber

Dec 24, 2011 - 01:06pm PT

I've liked Niall's other articles. This one however was harsh and negative and left me feeling that someone needed to kick Niall's ass. It sure would have been a better ending to the story.

Mick Ryan

Trad climber

The Peaks

Topic Author's Reply - Dec 24, 2011 - 03:17pm PT

Yes irony indeed!

Try this if you don't get it!

How to save money at your local climbing gym. Hard times requires stealth methods and cunning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2zg23N5zXY

Bullwinkle

Boulder climber

Dec 24, 2011 - 03:45pm PT

Excellent Work, as always. . . Are Mick and I the only ones who get it?

Trad climber

the cats

Dec 24, 2011 - 04:09pm PT

Hard times do require more effort and ingenuity, and hard times suck. But being so ungrateful is the part that I find troubling. After all, the people that the author takes from seem to have just as little (or less) as he does. Not my thing, I guess.

callum

Trad climber

Dec 25, 2011 - 03:30pm PT

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! Even before i clicked on the link from UKC i knew what i would find. Quality. Bold move posting that here Mick. :)

Neil Chelton

climber

England

Dec 25, 2011 - 04:51pm PT

Absolutely classic. I like how Niall got some pussy in France but dumped it straight away without even taking advantage of it. Typical Irish. What's the deal with this kc guy? American by any chance? Perhaps the humor isn't basic enough.

Mighty Hiker

climber

Vancouver, B.C.

Dec 25, 2011 - 05:16pm PT

Trying again to make myself likable.

He needn't bother. Self-absorbed prat, and self-admitted thief.

DanaB

climber

Dec 25, 2011 - 05:46pm PT

I think most of us got it. It just isn't that funny or creative: pretty routine, really.

grimer

climber

Dec 26, 2011 - 07:46am PT

Thanks all, happy christmas x x

Studly

Trad climber

Dec 26, 2011 - 12:51pm PT

Niall, you should change your nickname from the Grimer to the Slimer. Also, work on your complexion, you look like one of those washed out Eastern European pastries you love so much. Speaking of food, are you friggin serious? You poke fun at the French and everyone else, and you can gag down that crap known as English breakfast? You should learn other languages if you're going to travel you know. Maybe you can get by in France on the goodwill of the French, but Sprechen Zie Deuteche? No, you probably don't speak German because thats thanks to the Americans(in WWII) that you also poke fun at. I guess the English are good at one thing, freeloading. Alright now, we've had our fun. Cheers Mate!

Dropline

Mountain climber

Somewhere Up There

Dec 26, 2011 - 01:25pm PT

The protagonist in this story, and it seems to be an at least partly fictional story, is obviously and blatantly self absorbed.

Real life self absorbed climbers are much more subtle. For example, a climber who is perfectly able to work, make money, and pay for their own medical insurance, will instead choose to road trip, forgo medical insurance in favor of food and gas. If hurt or sick they will of course use emergency room medical care and probably with no intention of paying any of the bills they incur.

Those with medical insurance end up paying for those without, so fully able uninsured road tripping climbers, who need and get medical care at times, are just as selfish as the character Grimes portrays. They are mooching off the rest of us, intentionally.

Back to Grime's story. His real goal in writing that story remains obscure, at least to me. Is he reflecting on and illuminating the narcissism innate to many climbers?

Mighty Hiker

climber

Vancouver, B.C.

Dec 26, 2011 - 01:29pm PT

Perhaps instead of pretending to be a dirtbag, and writing self-absorbed quasi-existential nonsense, he could have just called his mummy. I don't like parasites, especially those who take pride in being parasites, and are ungrateful about it - even if they claim it's 'irony'. And we've all met dirtbags - they get old, fast.

Todd Gordon

Trad climber

Joshua Tree, Cal

Dec 26, 2011 - 01:44pm PT

I read most of it......it's just the jargon of the jaded dirtbag;...trying to make things seem more epic and harsh than they really are, and , of course, everyone in the world is an idiot except the author.....this sort of individual, weather real or make believe, is a dime a dozen.....in the world of the dirtbag freeloaders. If you live in the city or in the climbing gyms...you may not know this fellow. Many may know him, but turn and look the other way;.....too bad, for you can learn much from him and his self-absorbed lifestyle. If you live in the campground, the cave, the crag , or the field,.... you probably do know him;....maybe better than you wish. His bark is worse than his bite, his stories full of holes, his resume' inflated, and often does way more hanging out and flappin' than climbing......he can slackline very well, juggle, drink your coffee and beer, try unsuccessfully to steal your girlfriend, and play a few songs on the guitar.... I know this fellow well;.........he's actually not a bad sort;....just don't take him seriously and everthing will be fine....nothing to hate or get too worked up about for sure...eventually, he will go away;.....but it may take years...nothing to envy either;...although if you hang around enough, you do get in on some of the real fun and games while everyone else is out making a living...in some ways he's more real than most folks....but still missing the mark by a long shot.....don't pity him either;....he's just fine..... He's "living the life".....yeah;.....so is that hobo you see downtown with the shopping cart.....Sooner or later, even he stops believing his own bullsh#t, and joins in with the rest of us.....by that time it's probably too late. I enjoyed the read for awhile, until it all started to sound too familiar to me........I've visited this land myself on and off for most of my life, but managed to wipe my own butt more times than not........

Studly

Trad climber

Dec 27, 2011 - 12:55pm PT

Bump for the Brit love!

couchmaster

climber

pdx

Dec 27, 2011 - 01:23pm PT

Todd Gordon said:

I've visited this land myself on and off for most of my life, but managed to wipe my own butt more times than not........

People who live 3000 miles away and have never met you know of your selflessness, generosity and kindness TG. You are the opposite of a parasite, ...what is that? "A host"? LOL.

I suppose that if the articles purpose was to make fun of the selfishness of dirtbag climbers, it would have been better to parse it in the 3rd person. Anyone who has ever had a parasite attached to them like a ramora on a shark may be a tad sensitive over how difficult it was to shake them off.

Fritz

Trad climber

Choss Creek, ID

Dec 27, 2011 - 03:07pm PT

I read this story, while appreciating its "cultural contex."

It is interesting to read accounts about the "chip-on-shoulder" attitude many working-class Brit climbers historically, have had towards the Euros.

Heidi bought me "The Burgess Book of Lies" sometime around last Christmas, and those lads were sooooo bad in the youthful Euro trips.

I don't remember Don Whillans being mentioned as shoplifting in France, in his bio, "The Villain:" but his attitude toward the Euros was similar.