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Disaster Master
Social climber
Born in So-Cal, left my soul in far Nor-Cal.
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Topic Author's Original Post - Nov 29, 2010 - 02:27am PT
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Years ago I worked as the climbing buyer / dude at Adventure's Edge in Arcata, Ca. A lot of Earth First-ers came in for gear and advice on how to climb and save the trees without dying.
I sold one dirt-surfer a discounted pair of Titanium Ushba Ascenders. He asked why they were so cheap. I told him (as a joke) that they were made from the melted down hulks of russian subs and were radioactive from the nuclear reactors that were on board.
I guess he thought I wasn't joking. The next week people started asking how I could carry such radioctive gear in good concience! People who owned the things wanted to return them! It took a lot of explaining and when I said I started the rumor, most people did not believe me. They thought I was covering up the facts! Ha, ha, ha.
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Peter Haan
Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
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Nov 29, 2010 - 02:58am PT
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Humboldt!
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michaeld
Sport climber
Near Tahoe, CA
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Nov 29, 2010 - 05:29am PT
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Tony Bird one of them? :D
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Captain...or Skully
Big Wall climber
leading the away team, but not in a red shirt!
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Nov 29, 2010 - 07:25am PT
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Stupid radioactive ascenders!
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Nov 29, 2010 - 07:54am PT
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Tube chocks were made from control rods for nuclear reactors.
Chalk is ground up sport climber bones.
You don't even want to know what's in Red bull™!
By accident? No, I don't think so.
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Madbolter
Big Wall climber
I used to be hard
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Nov 29, 2010 - 02:01pm PT
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I bolted Double Cross.
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Ihateplastic
Trad climber
It ain't El Cap, Oregon
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Nov 29, 2010 - 02:12pm PT
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I often repeated a story Bachar told me about Deuce on the SFHD. The story always got rave reviews. After about a year I asked Deuce for more details. turns out it was only 80% true... that other 20% was pretty cool though!
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WBraun
climber
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Nov 29, 2010 - 02:51pm PT
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Yabo had these jumars once and he asked me what I thought about them.
I eyeballed them thoroughly and handed them back to him.
Then with a serious straight face told him I see some hairline fractures.
LOL Hahaha
He walked away looking for those hairline fractures ......
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deuce4
climber
Hobart, Australia
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Nov 29, 2010 - 03:56pm PT
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My favorite was how I described in the Big Wall Tech Manual about how to "X-em, Rock-em, Paste-em, and Sniff-em" when placing heads. The "Sniff-em" part was a joke --"if it stinks, get off it!"
Then the Mountaineers in Seattle completely plagiarized my work in the 5th Edition of Mountaineering, Freedom of the Hills. They took the "Sniff-em" part literally, and described in detail how a bad copperhead would emit some sort of special odor.
I wrote to the Mountaineers, one, to complain about the unacknowledged and blatant rip-off of my written work (about 20 pages of Freedom of the Hills was my work, paraphrased), and two, to point out to them their ridiculous error. I never heard back from them.
For years afterward, I heard climbers talking about the special odor of a bad copperhead! Even by some experienced wall climbers who had actually placed a head (not like the plagiarizers at the Mountaineers, who had obviously just rewritten my work without any real knowledge of aid climbing).
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Disaster Master
Social climber
Born in So-Cal, left my soul in far Nor-Cal.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 29, 2010 - 07:58pm PT
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Then the Mountaineers in Seattle completely plagiarized my work in the 5th Edition of Mountaineering, Freedom of the Hills. They took the "Sniff-em" part literally, and described in detail how a bad copperhead would emit some sort of special odor.
OMG!!
I remember that. I remember distinctly reading that in Freedom of the Hills. Made no sense then. Now I understand.
Any more, anyone?
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Nov 29, 2010 - 08:15pm PT
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I didn't get that one, upon hearing the litanny out loud from a Fishy source,until Freddie rolled his eye and mentioned something about it being a euphemism.
I learned to look at everything in climbing and life itself, differently, and more poetically, after that...
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Disaster Master
Social climber
Born in So-Cal, left my soul in far Nor-Cal.
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 29, 2010 - 08:28pm PT
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Avalanche Poodles, for sure!
Yeah, I've been ripped off too by An 'Author' at "Fakin'", er, I mean Falcon Press.
I ended up at the Salt Lake OR show in a wheelchar with blue hair, arguing with the publisher to pull the guide. Threatened to go to the industry newspaper. They pulled it.
Post on!
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BooDawg
Social climber
Polynesian Paradise
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Nov 29, 2010 - 09:34pm PT
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Climbing limericks are mostly rumors tho there is often some basis in fact.
For example:
There once was a climber named Bridwell.
When climbing grade ones, he did well.
But on a grade six,
He got in a fix,
And rappeled to the talus and hid well.
This limerick commemorates an attempt on Camp 4 Terror (Grade 5, BITD). And Jim certainly didn't hide after coming off it. (BTW, I did not compose this one.)
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
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Nov 29, 2010 - 09:44pm PT
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Boodawg, that's a good one. Hadn't heard it before.
heh
Now, Tami, as fer yer "Well I started the Avalanche Poodle thing"
that's just an outright lie and malicious slander. Everyone knows that avi poodles, were know to exist in ancient mussypotamia. The ancient cuticleform tablets spell out in detail how to use hemp to secure the avi poodle when crossing the snow fields of Mt. AreWeFat.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Nov 29, 2010 - 09:50pm PT
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I thought it was;
There once was a climber named Bird
Of who many rumors were heard
Like the starlet all leggy
Discovered by Peggy
And why all her clothes he then burned
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go-B
climber
Revelation 7:12
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Nov 29, 2010 - 10:34pm PT
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Did you hear who just freesoloed the Nose?
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Spider Savage
Mountain climber
SoCal
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Nov 29, 2010 - 10:45pm PT
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I read that "sniff the copperhead" thing in a Fish catalog. So it went even further. Knowing Walling's writing style, I didn't fall for it.
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Nov 30, 2010 - 01:08am PT
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Does the person who has contributed the most to climbing in our collective lifetime live behind the zion curtain? or in the greenie state?
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Captain...or Skully
Big Wall climber
leading the away team, but not in a red shirt!
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Nov 30, 2010 - 01:25am PT
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Maybe he lives in an Ark on the Moon?
Naw. I'm not very good at this, huh?
ok. As you were.
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graniteclimber
Trad climber
The Illuminati -- S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Division
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Nov 30, 2010 - 01:33am PT
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My favorite was how I described in the Big Wall Tech Manual about how to "X-em, Rock-em, Paste-em, and Sniff-em" when placing heads. The "Sniff-em" part was a joke --"if it stinks, get off it!"
Then the Mountaineers in Seattle completely plagiarized my work in the 5th Edition of Mountaineering, Freedom of the Hills. They took the "Sniff-em" part literally, and described in detail how a bad copperhead would emit some sort of special odor.
I wrote to the Mountaineers, one, to complain about the unacknowledged and blatant rip-off of my written work (about 20 pages of Freedom of the Hills was my work, paraphrased), and two, to point out to them their ridiculous error. I never heard back from them.
For years afterward, I heard climbers talking about the special odor of a bad copperhead! Even by some experienced wall climbers who had actually placed a head (not like the plagiarizers at the Mountaineers, who had obviously just rewritten my work without any real knowledge of aid climbing).
It's in the 6th Edition also:
"5. Sniff it. If the head emits a metallic odor, it is underdriven or overdriven; do not use it. The smell arises from the cutting or cracking of the head rather than its molding to the rock."
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