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justthemaid
climber
Jim Henson's Basement
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Topic Author's Original Post - Nov 8, 2009 - 12:55pm PT
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Two fine days in the Wonderland of Rocks.. or "Wanderland of Lost" as we came to call it. Taking our (out of state) friends climbing in unfamiliar areas of Wonderland seemed a totally sensible choice.
Day one. Lenticular Love.
Mr E's old climbing partner Mike and girlfriend Britney has driven down from Utah. Mike had dragged poor Brit up a couple of unforgiving 10+ cracks the day before and J-Tree's quartz monzonite had turned her into a chew-toy. We decided a nice moderate climb away from the crowds would give her wounds a break so Mental Physics out at Lenticular Dome it was... knowing full well that it was way the F- out in the desert and there would be hours of wandering around- probably to only do one climb.
We put Mr. E in charge (even though he had no clue where we were going.)
Stupid discount guide service. We got lost of course.
At some point we ended up at Room to Shroom considered climbing and after 20 minutes of hymin' and hawin' with us two squeamish girls throwing disapproving looks at the traverse- vetoed it in favor of more endless slogging though the desert in search of the elusive Lenticular Dome.
We eventually found it. The pirate bunny would not be thwarted.
As predicted... we did one climb then hiked all the way back to the car for beer.
Drove back to HVC. We still had daylight and a #6 cam. We suckered Mike into leading Drawstrings (sandbagged OW 5.7) on Intersection Rock. After much grunting and thrutching- he sent. Brit... seeing how much "fun" it was... gave it a pass, but Mr. E and I were delighted to follow and watch the sunset.
Grunt, wiggle, grimace, repeat. Grunt, wiggle, grimace, repeat.
Saw a guy Free-soloing The North-West Face of Intersection.
That evening we hooked up with some Viginians in the neighboring site. they asked Mr. E to take them on the night-time tour of the HVC "Magical Mystery Tour" which winds up and over the central rock formation. They were a bit too-generous buttering up Mr. E with green-gift, and soon he was so loopy he couldn't remember the exact way...at one point sending the poor non-climbers down a 5th-class gully that ended in a no-go and angry glares as they had to re-climb and get manually hauled out of it. They forgave him by morning.
Day 2 to follow. Keep in tune for the sequel "The Search for the Mating Grotto"
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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"She's Got the look"
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10b4me
Ice climber
the reticient boulder at the Happies
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We got lost of course. you're not the only ones
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C. Small wall climber.
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I've been to the Bighorn Mating Grotto. It took most of a day, and twice we could see it but not get to it. I don't know if I could find it again, even backed by Eric and Skip.
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Crimpergirl
Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
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Did you see BrassNuts? He's out there having a ball.
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C. Small wall climber.
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So to speak. One assumes. :-)
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Fletcher
Trad climber
somewhere approaching Ajna
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A nice tale... thanks!
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justthemaid
climber
Jim Henson's Basement
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 8, 2009 - 04:59pm PT
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Day 2. The search for the Mating Grotto.
Woke up to a spectacular cloudy sky.
So having such "luck" the day before with it only taking like.... 3 hours to find Lenticular Dome.... we decide the next day to set off in search of the most elusive of all J-Tree climbing areas... the Bighorn Mating Grotto.
We had doubts about it's very existence. People have gone in search of it only to be lost for days. Much like bigfoot or the chupacabra- there only rumors and blurry photos- mostly originating from climbers who also claimed to have been abducted by aliens.... oh wait... that would be Mr. E who claimed to have actually set foot in it "10 years ago and I'm not sure if I can find it again". (pointing to the scar where the aliens plugged in their mind-control device to prove it).
As we were perusing the campground, waiting for a groggy Mike and Brit to wake up we saw Jude Bischoff's trailer and decided to invade his campground... ever in search of some new sucker we can drag around in some fruitless march in the desert all day. He was TOTALLY game having nothing better to do that day.
We headed out armed with printouts from Mountain Project with supposed pictures of the secret entrance and directions.
More marching- Typical conversation: "Is that Owl Rock?? Or is that Owl Rock???... Wait- I think that is Owl Rock... no??? Well- lets go over there and look at that formation from a different angle and see if maybe if we squint real hard it will look like the photo..." etc. etc....
We were actually able to find the first "secret entrance" pretty easily but the directions got somewhat convoluted after that.
The first secret entrance to the trail.
I can assure you the Grotto exists. We did indeed have to spend quite some time wandering around confused and lost and found it only after the obligatory multiple hours of searching. None of our directions were any help at all and we found it only by sifting through the foggiest corners of Mr. E's decade-old memory chip. Mike commented "After we find this place I am going to sell all my gear and spend the rest of my days recommending this area to other climbers and meditating on it. If anyone asks me to lead them back.. I'll say... Nope"
Finally... after finding the "secret entrance" followed by the "super secret trail" leading to the "super super secret gully", we were able to find the "uber top-secret inconspicuous hidden entrance" to the Mating Grotto... even though it was hidden by a cloaking device. I'd show you a picture of what it looks like, but I fear alien retaliation.
Behold- The Bighorn Mating Grotto:
Mike leading up Caught Inside on a Big Set (5.10b) on the right and Mr. E leading up Dangling Woo Li Master (5.10a) on the left.
Mr. E and Mike leading.
I've got weak little arms and hate to use them- Mr. E always says... "If there's a stem you'll find it." Mike had nicknamed me "Stem-bot" by the end of the day.
We had a small epic getting Mike and Brit off the top of Caught Inside. Mr. E had actually climbed it before and remembered a "walk-off". Well... there was no walk off and he evidently had completely forgotten about the existence of a second pitch. Mr E. saved the gear by down-leading the 5.6 crack to the right.
Jude belaying:
Brit watching Mike take a run on Woo Li:
We also set up a TR on Book of Changes to the right of Woo Li. It was my favorite of the climbs, and I was glad no one tried to lead it.
Headed home after a great day of climbing. The Grotto remains in it's secret groove. For any who dare to search for it- there are some great climbs.
We saw one more bizarre thing on the way out...
This must be some kind of record- A party of SEVEN on I Can't Believe It's a Girdle on the Freak Bros. Dome.
Back in the safety of HVC parking lot.
The end.
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Jingy
Social climber
Flatland, Ca
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Skips new nickname - Stem Gem!
Because shes such a gem!
I kinda like the look of that traverse route... good times
cheers
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justthemaid
climber
Jim Henson's Basement
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 8, 2009 - 09:08pm PT
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I generally feel no love for traverse routes. I was getting nauseous just watching.
Isn't there a route named Stem Gem?
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Ray Olson
Trad climber
Imperial Beach, California
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stem gem = boulder problem
neat stuff, thanks 4 posting.
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Big Piton
Trad climber
Ventura
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Is that a back belay. Cheating?
And a pain in the ass. Just let me fall man and swing.
MMM
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Bighorn Getting Lost Grotto is what they should have called it. We've been in it twice, and it took all day to find it both times. Even armed with this experience I am sure it would take us all day to find it again. Remarkable place, though.
Thanks for posting.
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Ray Olson
Trad climber
Imperial Beach, California
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its been told before but what the heck.
stem gem goes "backwards" too;
facing away from the rock.
needless to say the name is meg mets,
am pretty sure it is a Watusi creation,
but am not sure if he is the only
one to perfom the feat.
been to the grotto once I think,
neat place 4 sure.
wonderful place to wander...
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MH2
climber
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I love the desert.
Thanks for speaking up for us 1-pitch-a-day types.
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Fletcher
Trad climber
somewhere approaching Ajna
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More marching- Typical conversation: "Is that Owl Rock?? Or is that Owl Rock???... Wait- I think that is Owl Rock... no??? Well- lets go over there and look at that formation from a different angle and see if maybe if we squint real hard it will look like the photo..." etc. etc....
LOL... Just change "Owl Rock" to whatever you're looking for on a given day and I've lost count of how many times I've had that conversation.
"Stem-bot"... excellent! Someone famous once said that stemming is "perhaps the most elegant of techniques". I'm inclined to agree.
Eric
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rlf
Trad climber
Josh, CA
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You guys got lost looking for Lenticular Dome??????
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justthemaid
climber
Jim Henson's Basement
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Topic Author's Reply - Nov 9, 2009 - 08:34am PT
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I get lost walking from my house to the garage.
For real... out main problem with Lenticular was that we parked in the lower parking. We missed a right turn and ended up on the wrong side of the Astro Domes.
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Chiloe
Trad climber
Lee, NH
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Alright, a bright TR to start Monday morning.
I've managed to find some of the larger domes out in Wonderland, but even then with some confusion.
Guess I'll leave the Mating Grotto for hardier souls.
I Can't Believe It's a Girdle = one of the funnest routes in JTree.
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TKingsbury
Trad climber
MT
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How many more people could you fit on that girdle?
Kinda like how many people can you fit into a ___
Very fun stuff!
Thanks for posting up!
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