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luggi
Trad climber
from the backseat of Jake& Elwood Blues car
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Topic Author's Original Post - Nov 5, 2009 - 03:07pm PT
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Buy the Woman a Drink
An old man with bad vision sat at the end of a dimly lit bar when a hefty woman with hairy armpits and a tank top on came in and sat at the opposite end of the bar. She held her arm up high and asked, " who will buy this lady a drink?" The old man squinted with amazement and said bartender, give that ballerina a beer on me. The bar keep was a bit perplexed but gave the lady a beer. Upon finishing the suds, she again lifts her arm up high and asks , "who will buy this lady a drink?". As before the old man squinted in the dark bar and told the bartender to give that ballerina a beer on me. After doing so, the bartender asked the old man what made him think that lady was a ballerina? The fellow replied, " anyone can kick their leg up that high has to be a ballerina!!"
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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so it was one of those days where i only ate like 1 fuel bar and a piece of fruit, i only drank about a cup of water, then i cragged all day in the sun, hauling my asse up steep approaches and the like. come about 3pm i return to the valley river where i stashed my beers. i put down about 3 while submerged up to my neck. then i walk to the bar to socialize. i have a couple more. it goes unsaid, but i'll say it anyway, i was good and drunk. so this extremely striking women sits next to me. i mean extremely striking. solid. so im trying to put together something to spit out, and here's what i said:
you're amazing. and i have a vasectomy. what a coincidence.
she kinda smirked but moved about 3 stools away. i didn't get a drink in the face or my lap and the bar tender found it quite amusing.
that night i slept in a field, in the way of the crickets.
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Jingy
Social climber
Flatland, Ca
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good starter joke..
better response norweej!!!
BWAHAHAHA
That's too friggin funny...
Why is it that these clever come-on lines don't come to me when I get drunk?
BWAHAHAH!!!
thanks for that Nor!
cheers
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hooblie
climber
"i used to care, but things have changed"
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norwegian, may i have that line, "in the way of the crickets?" i need a new one. this "i used to care, but things have changed" doesn't apply any more, thank goodness.
i've been watching you. be advised.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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hooblie you may have the line, "in the way of the crickets."
spend it wisely.
i adore audiences. though im shy as hell. cept when the beer lies to me. or the coffee. or the truth.
cheer.
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